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Planning With an Aim Towards Building Unity

Battles over the validity or terms of will or trust wreak havoc on families (I represent a couple of clients in the middle of these battles right now! It pains me to witness the destruction). These conflicts may result in irreparable resentment and loss of familial communication. Old rivalries and disputes can resurface during the trying time that occurs after the death of a loved one, especially a parent. Sad but true, if you are lucky, you will not be here to witness it. What if you are only incapacitated? Unfortunately, while you may still able to bear witness to what is happening to your family and friends you may be unable to do anything about it. Careful estate planning can help you substantially reduce the risk, or even avoid this problem entirely. Let us take a look at a few of the ways you can build your estate plan to minimize family conflicts if you are incapacitated and after you are gone. Keep your plan up-to-date: An up-to-date estate plan can help you preserve family unity after death or in the event of incapacity. Even if you have put an estate plan in place in recent years, estate planning is an ongoing process and needs attention at regular intervals. An out-of-date plan can become misaligned with your goals, new laws, and policies, rendering it less effective and more likely to generate conflict (the last thing you want). Select key individuals in your plan: You can give certainty to your family and make your wishes easier to carry out by selecting the right people as your key players in carrying out your estate plan. Make sure that you have thoughtfully selected the right people to carry out your estate plan. A few of the key individuals you will have to select:

  • Successor trustee - This person will manage your trust’s assets when you are unable to do so.

  • Personal Representative/Executor - This person is appointed in your will to manage your probate estate if one is needed. In many cases, you may select the same person as your successor trustee. However, if you do not make them the same person, remember that your personal representative/executor MUST be able to work closely with your successor trustee to ensure that everything is handled smoothly and in a timely fashion.

  • Healthcare Agent - This person or persons is authorized to communicate with your medical providers and make medical decisions if you are unable to do so.

  • Financial agent - This person is authorized to make financial decisions on your behalf. They will likely need to work closely with your successor trustee, or you may designate the same person to serve in both roles.

Share your wisdom: By sharing your stories and wisdom (through ethical wills, intent letters, personal stories, videos, etc.) you can help your family understand the legacy you want to leave so that the wealth or whatever you are leaving does not become a distraction or point of contention. Do NOT try to DIY: While it might be tempting to cut corners and take your estate plan into your own hands, taking a do-it-yourself approach is never wise. This sets the stage for potentially inadequate planning, which increases the likelihood of will or trust battles (i.e., contested wills and contested trusts) and will likely mean your estate is not distributed how you would like it to be in the end. Let your estate planning attorney do the heavy lifting — we are always here to help. Be clear about your intentions: Are you planning on giving more of your total assets to one child than the others? Or are there other ways in which your estate planning goals may upset some of your beneficiaries (or those who are not beneficiaries)? It can be a very tricky subject to broach, but if you foresee hurt feelings, consider being as clear as possible about your wealth distribution plans with those individuals. This will limit the potential for confusion and disagreement down the road. It may - or may not - make sense to explain this to your family. But, it is always incredibly important to let us know the reasons so we can develop a rock-solid legal strategy for your goals. Consider discretionary trusts: If you have a child or other potential beneficiary who struggles with addiction, mental health problems, or other conditions that could hinder their ability to use their inheritance in a healthy way, you might want to consider a discretionary trust. With this type of trust, you can control the disbursements based on your beneficiary meeting certain requirements — such as attending a treatment program or enrolling in higher education. This can help you treat each child fairly by taking into consideration what is best for each child’s unique situation. Will or trust contests can tear a family apart, and can also be time-consuming, costly, and embarrassing for the family that remains. If someone who feels slighted by your estate plan can convince the court that your will or trust is invalid, chaos can break loose and your intended beneficiaries can lose their inheritances. Typical reasons a family member might use to say your estate plan is invalid are that it was not signed, you did not have the capacity to make the estate planning decisions you made, the documents were fraudulent, or that you were pressured or influenced to sign documents. Let us help you make sure that none of these events unfold. We are here to guide you every step of the way through creating and maintaining a timely, robust, and strategic estate plan. Give us, at 301.892.2713, to make sure your plan is current, includes all the necessary provisions to help you avoid battles, and to builds toward family unity.

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